On July 16th, 2024, at SickKids Hospital in Toronto, surrounded by her family, our little princess Autumn took her last breath.
During her last MIBG radiation treatment in late February, early March, Autumn developed a severe allergic reaction to platelets, which led to her having to take 3 different medications before every transfusion she received. She also got a blood infection and pneumonia, among a few other complications.
Autumn powered through though, showing every single person the true strength of her resilience.
Autumn came out of the hospital, but ever since that treatment, things were not the same. Autumn repeatedly returned to SickKids for excruciating pain that would radiate through her entire body. She received multiple rounds of localized radiation, to try and stop the disease in its tracks, and prevent it from getting worse.
She received blood transfusions every few days, and ended up getting pneumonia a few weeks before she passed away.
After returning home from being in the hospital for 5 days, treating the pneumonia, Autumn returned back to the hospital that same night, not 12 hours after being discharged. This was Saturday, July 13th, as we thought her pneumonia had come back once again.
However, after running test after test, it was shown that Autumn was not dealing with yet another pneumonia, but actually the cancer had entered her lungs, causing both of her lungs to partially collapse. Autumn was put on oxygen, however, even that wasn't enough.
The day before she passed, Autumn sat in her bed, playing with her iPad, reminiscing about fond memories she had shared with so many people in the hospital room. She laughed and shared stories, making sure she got smiles on all our faces.
In the night of July 15th to 16th, doctors and nurses installed a high-flow nasal cannula to ensure that enough oxygen would enter her bloodstream, however, even that was not enough to keep her oxygen levels high enough.
It was highly important for all of us to make sure that we listened to what Autumn wanted throughout the entire process. It was important for us to listen to the doctors and nurses who had Autumn's best interest at heart.
Autumn passed away in the early afternoon of July 16th, not enduring any pain or suffering. She was at peace with herself and we are so incredibly proud of how strong she was. Not only on that day, but for the last 2 and a half years, where she dealt with the unimaginable.
To Autumn's doctors, nurses and support staff at SickKids Hospital, Grand River Hospital and Centenary Hospital, thank you will never be enough, for the love that you have shown, the care, the emotions, the highs and the lows, for your professionalism and expertise, and for doing absolutely EVERYTHING you could to help fight this horrible disease.
To Dr. Meredith Irwin, Dr. Sarah Cohen-Gogo, Dr. Renée Potashner, NP Jennifer Cabral, NP Sheila Gandhi and Sally-Jane Casey, we will never stop fighting for you. We will never, ever forget the amount of care and love you showed Autumn and all of us. We will never forget the milestones we all shared together, and the emotions that came along the way. We will never forget how much Autumn meant to each and every one of you. You have become family to all of us, and that will never change. We will continue to raise money and awareness to end the disease, and sing your praises every single day. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Oddly enough, we will miss you so much.
To Autumn's young friends, schoolmates, and all the other kids who loved and cared for her, it's okay to be sad. We are sad too, and we are sad with you, and we know it's harder to process and understand, because Autumn was so energetic, happy and full of life. I hope each and every one of you knows how much you meant to her. Even when she wasn't feeling very well, she talked about all her friends and smiled at the memories you made with her. Even as a grown-up myself, I don't have the perfect words or the perfect way of explaining what all this means, but make sure that if you're sad, or if you want to cry, or if you're simply not feeling good, don't hide behind how you feel, and talk to your mommy and daddy. You can ask them to call us or FaceTime us or even come and see us, and we can laugh and play and talk about all the things that made you love our little Autumn. Thank you for giving Autumn such a wonderful childhood, we love you so very much.
... and finally, to our beautiful little Autumn, I wish I could tell you once more how proud I am of you. I know we all could. I wish we could hold you again and hug you, give you kisses and play together. I wish we could have been able to get that disease out of you. I tell you, every night in my dreams, how happy and proud I am to have had you in my life.
But Autumn, remember this: we will NEVER forget about you, and we will never spend a day without thinking of how you made our lives better and this earth a better place to live. I promise you that your entire family will continue to fight so that no other kiddo has to go through this.
We will continue to fight for Team Autumn, we will continue to yell your name every day and sing your praises; we will continue to donate blood and encourage every person to do so, and to raise money to put an end to paediatric neuroblastoma.
We will never ever stop loving you. Our love for you will never stop growing, and we will miss you more and more every day.
You've said, from a very young age, that you wanted to be a bird when you grew up. I know that you are flying, cancer-free, medicine-free and pain-free, flying beside Addy, who we know is protecting you, providing you comfort and making you smile. I hope you are doing TikTok's together and that you are dancing and singing hand-in-hand.
I refuse to believe that this is the end, because it isn't. You will always be part of us, you will always be near us.
Until next time, you beautiful girl.
I love you, so much.
I will never, ever, leave you.
-Poopyhead Karl
... a celebration of life will be held, once we, as a family, are ready. Details will be announced, and we hope that as many of you can come out to celebrate the incredible life this little angel had.
